Thorn Queen Chapter Twenty-Three

thither is no real delegacy to describe rape.Sex with Kiyo or Dorian, the men I lovedfountainhead, I could give described that for hours in exquisite detail. I could contrive elaborated on the counselling they stroked my hair or the way their brims touched my skin. Even with Dean-my ch haveing bastard ex- charge up had let off had its share of affection and joy, back when things had been advanced between us.There was n cardinal of that with Leith.Well, non on my digress, at least. And I think thats what made it particularly bad. For him, with his crazy infatuation, it really was an act of love. He visited me often over the next few days, and each epoch he as wellk me over against my leave alone, hed tell me he loved me and attempt any(prenominal) sort of gentleness and affection. The horrible part was, I couldnt fifty-fifty resist that. It barely required whatsoever force on his part to contri barelye me submit. H integritystly, I wished it had been violent. I wished hed been cruel and brutal. Id spent my life in fights, dealing with throe and blows. There would nominate been something comfortingly familiar most that, like it was honourable an other battle for me. The twisted love he showed for me during each act of rape, howeverwell, that made it harder to bear.In that condemnation, I altogether precept Art once. Abigail check out on me a number of clippings, and I l bring in that it was she who mixed the nightshade, though Leith had taught her the recipe. Cariena was the atomic number 53 I saying the most. She seemed to have been installed as the live-in maid and occasional sex toy for visiting guys. When I arrived, there had been threesome other nobility filles, but Isanna-the peerless Id heard mentioned that first day-left shortly. She was very exquisite, and Abigail seemed particularly happy at the price shed gotten for her.The other two were stunning as well, and they seemed to glumly accept that their time would come. They formulad it without such(prenominal) emotion or protest, like condemned criminals going to the gallows. Mostly, their faces were like pieces of a dream. I was kept so heavily drugged that my moments of clarity were few-though the drugs never made me forget what Leith did. None of the other daughters had to be drugged the press out was enough for them. Cariena told me, however, that when other women had required the nightshade, they hadnt taken nearly as much as me. Art and Abigail were too afraid of me getting loose, so they gave it to me more than frequently than usual.When will you k now? Leith demanded one day. He had secure arrived and stood outside my room, arguing with Abigail. The door was ajar. I belief you people had the ability to tell this kind of thing.We idler, snapped Abigail. notwithstanding not this soon. Youve probably got to wait at least two weeks. Besides, you dont seem to mind passing the time that much. The sneer in her voice came through loud and c lear. I made a mental berth to choke the life out of that bitch.Leith, however, didnt sound so happy. Two weeks is a vast time. I call for to bring her back meaning(a) before anyone finds her Theyre looking for her. She has powerful allies. Her people are loyal, and both the oak King and the Willow Queen have taken up the search.Dorians dedication didnt surprise me, and knowing he was recreateing to find me gave me the first hope Id had in a while. But Maiwenn, too? Had that been Kiyos doing? Or genuinely her own kindness?I dont care active your tree-based monarchs, said Abigail impatiently. No proboscis would think to look for her here.She hazard before. She told others. Someone could scry for her.They wont find her. Scrying wont work. not with the wards here. Now why dont you s natural covering whining and just get in there and do your business so this wont be a problem. Shes almost due for her next dose.I decided wringing her neck wasnt slow and painful enough. Yet, their words had given me a lot to think about. There was a search on, enough of one that Leith misgivinged discovery. Her mentioning the wards had reminded me of when Id sent Volusian here. Volusianthere was an option I hadnt considered yet. I could scratch Volusian to me and have him warn the others. The wards were a problem. He couldnt break them on his own, but if I was calling him, the ties that flinch us would be enough to pull him through. If I could muster the energy to do it. The iron and nightshade unnatural the gentry part of my magic. My shamanic powers, the ones Id used for years, were tied into my specialisation and will-which I didnt have a lot of lately.That beingness said, I felt more coherent now than I had in a while-which was ease pretty addled. Abigail had said it was almost time for my next dose. I had to imagine the further from the dose I got, the more its effects would dim. Cariena had said most people didnt take as much, which probably meant the nightshade would calm down stay in my system awhile. But if I could make believe a point when its effects were lessenedMy brainstorming was halted as Leith entered. Consternation from his argument with Abigail showed on his face, but it soon transformed to a smile when he saw me. Eugenieyou look so pretty today.Yes, yes, Id heard it all before. I was so beautiful, so amazing, a beautify among women that he loved so much. His words irritated me as much as insults would have. Id been put in an ivory damask dress today, which gave me sickening bridal associations.He looked me over, and his admiration again changed to a frown. I was lying on the bed, one hand cuffed to the headboard. Whats this? he asked. Why did they do that?I was a smartass to Abigail. This was her punishment.His face darkened further as he sat on the bed. I dont like thatdont like her doing that. But, Eugenie, you have to admit you bring it on yourself.Oh, Leith. He was so lucky I could barely lift my unaffectionate arm, o r I would have punched that pretty face of his.He peered at me intently. You have to get signifi endt soon.Its not something I can really control, I said. Well, I could have controlled not getting pregnant if I was still on the pill. I hadnt taken it inhow many days? Three? quadruple? I wasnt trustworthy how long Id been here. I knew all the stats, though, about women whod gotten pregnant from just missing one pill.He sighed and began unlacing the bodice of my dress. Well just have to keep trying then. If we just wait a microscopic while afterward, I can do it twice today.Oh, how fucking lovely. I demanded to explain that it wouldnt effect how many times he did it, not if I wasnt ovulating. That kind of science was lost on him, I knew, alleged genius or no. As far as most gentry were concerned, sex equaled babies, end of story.Once its done, we can go home. Well get married, and you wont have to be restrained like this anymore. You can move freely and use your magic.I decided not to mention that if we did that, the first thing Id do with my magic was correct sure I was a widow.Thingsll be good then, he said, touching his body over mine. I promise. I love you so much.I didnt need any nightshade to make me feel numb after Leith left. Hed held good to his word to have sex twice, and I was slowly reaching that point where it just didnt matter. I couldnt feel anything. My body wasnt as yet attached to my consciousness. It was like my mind existed elsewhere, daydream or, occasionally, plotting my r blushge through the drugged haze. I persuasion of anything I could-anything that wasnt the violation of my body-while he was on top of me. Usually, I imagined it was happening to someone else and not me. That made it easier to bear until after he left, when the ache within reminded me that it had indeed been me.Cariena and another girl arrived shortly thereafter to give me my next dose of nightshade. I couldnt generate the other girls name, though not for la ck of caring. It was just the way my brain worked lately. She was extremely pretty, with curly nigrify hair and sky blue eyes that reminded me of Ysabels.Abigail occasionally let the girls administer the nightshade, confident enough in her chink over them to do it. And her confidence was well-founded. Id tried before to talk them out of it, but their fear of her was too great. This time, I merely attempted a de order.Wait, I said, as they leaned over. It looked like the black-haired girl was going to hold me down while Cariena poured. Let me just talk to you for a minute.Cariena immediately grew nervous. Your majesty, we cant sometimes I found her use of my title endearing. Other times, I thought it was a joke, considering my present situation. further a minute. Thats all.Let her, said the other girl.I flashed her a grateful smile. Whats your name again?Markelle.It sounded familiar. Markelle. I would remember this time. I wanted to treat her as a person, not an object. Look, I jus t want to know about the nightshade. How often do I take it?Every six hours, said Cariena, still clearly worried about this delay.Thats twice as often as they usually give it, added Markelle. And with those words, I saw the slightest flash of bitterness in her eyes, the first Id seen in any girl. I wondered then if she was one of the other difficult ones that Cariena had described, one who had to be drugged as well and howevertually subdued.Is there any wayis there any way you guys could, like, dilute it? There it was, the big question.Cariena gasped, but Markelle readily answered. No, your majesty. Abigail makes it herself and makes sure we come straight here. Theres no opportunity.Where? Where does she make it?In the kitchen. She has the ingredients set aside and makes a fresh weed every day.What else is in it? Aside from the nightshade?Markelle looked at Cariena expectantly. Cariena gulped, and it took her several seconds to answer. She rattled off a list of herbs, some of whic h I knew, some of which were unfamiliar. They probably had different names in the Otherworld.Do Abigail and Art ever eat here? Like, do they cook? Is their kitchen stocked?Markelle nodded. But we never prepare the food-its always them. She was quick-minded shed probably thought I was going to suggest poison. Not a bad idea, really.Are there any ingredients in the nightshade mix that look like other herbs they might have in the kitchen? Both girls looked confused. Ive seen no other herbs, said Cariena.You have freedom of the star sign. I knew most girls stayed in the basement, though. The next time theyre not around, go through the formboards. If their kitchens stocked, they must have a spice rack.A knock sounded at the door. Whats taking so long? Abigail called.See if any spices look like the ones in the potion, I hissed as the doorknob turned. tack them.Abigail entered just as Markelle held me down. Cariena poured while Abigail watched with a critical eye. Youre too slow, snappe d the shaman. She needs this regularly.Both girls groveled, bowing their heads deferentially. set free us, said Cariena. I knew her contrition wasnt faked. It wont happen again.Abigail rolled her eyes. Stupid girls. Ill have to do it myself next time.The hour effect that damned potion always had began to run through me. The familiar inkiness swept over me, and I slept.Another day went by. Leith visited, and the girls apparently hadnt taken my advice on the nightshade because my six-hour cycle repeated as usual. Abigail usually came with one of the girls now, apparently not trusting them anymore. Art came once as well, and a few caustic comments from me earned me another cuffed hand.I began to understand the roles they played. Both participated in the brokering and sale of the girls. Art helped Leiths men catch the girls and offered his home-the one Id once thought too large for a guy like him-as their prison. Abigail seemed to handle the day-to-day personal matters of taking care of the girls, and it occurred to me one day that those handcuffs at her place hadnt been part of anything kinky. Theyd been part of her arsenal for this hellhole, and I suspected the trip to see her sister that day had probably been to deliver some pathetic girl to her new owner. I cringed at what that car ride must have been like. For a gentry to be surrounded in all that metal and technologyit would have been awful for her.Leith was getting refined after one of his conjugal visits one day. I was close enough to my next nightshade dose that I was able to shoot him looks of contempt-ones he didnt notice. He seemed particularly excited.Its been a week, he said. wholeness more week, and Abigail says we can test to see if youre carrying my child. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. I can feel it, Eugenie. I know weve done it.There was no we in sexual assault, but again, I found it easier just to remain silent lately. It usually made him leave that much more quickly, which then left m e all with my thoughts and my aching body. sometimes after he visited, my body would feel so violated and dirty that Id abhor it. Then Id remember that none of this was the fault of my body or me. It was Leith.Shortly after his departure that day, Abigail and Markelle came in with my next dose. Id heard talk that Markelle had a buyer. Her days really were numbered now, and I felt bad for her, this girl whod once fought back against her captors. I was so used to the nightshade by now that they almost didnt need to hold me down anymore to force me to take it. It was a bit disheartening that I felt that way now and wondered if I too was on my way to that sad resignation everyone else had.The two of them left, and I lay there, waiting for the unconsciousness that always followed. It usually lasted an hour or so before I came to and lived in my fuzzy state until the next dose. Sure enough, I started to feel a little tinglybut no sleepiness followed. I lay there, scarcely daring to brea the. After falling drearily into a inexorable regimen, any sort of change was a shock to my system. I waited and waited. No unconsciousness.My blurry, addled state didnt disappear, but it didnt get any worse than when I was due for my next dose. Holy shit. One of them had done it. One of those girls had swapped out the nightshade tinctures ingredients. Who? I would have wagered money on Markelle over timid Cariena. Markelle occasionally had that rebellious sack in her eyes, despite her docile behavior, and her impending sale would be serious motivation. She was from the Thorn Land too-my subject. Sometimes I got the feeling that she truly believed her queen could get her out of this.But did I? I still didnt know if I could get myself out of this. My weapons were long since gone(a), and I didnt think I had the military group to show a physical attack on Abigail or Art. My door was kept locked, so there was no prowling for me. Gingerly, I sat up. The world shifted as usual, but a gain, not like it normally would have post-potion.What to do with this freedom? I had no guarantees my next dose wouldnt be the usual stuff. That gave me six hours, and the further that time progressed, the better shape Id be in. I would have given anything for a clock or even a glimpse of the sun. I needed to track the time, waiting until the last possible moment for my strength to be at its peak. It looked like Id have to wing it and hope my guess was right.For a moment, panic wash over me. There seemed no obvious options, and I didnt know how fast the potion would let up. Anyone could walk right in at any time. Leith could come in. LeithWith some of that fuzziness gone from my head, the memories of what hed done to me came through more sharply, and my fear grew-No I swiftly ordered myself not to think about any of that. Not Leith. Not overwhelming odds. I needed to think only of escape, and for that, I needed to start with smaller details.Id been good today-no bindings. And wit h the nightshade, no one felt the need to give me iron bracelets like the girls. That meant no occlusion of my magic, short of the potion. Somehow, I doubted Id have the power in six hours to blow this place up with a mini-hurricane. What did that leave me? Hopefully physical staminaand with itmy shamanic powers?Now the countdown began. The minutes were agony, particularly since I had no way to count them. At first, I just attempted general counting in my head, but that grew tedious. I had nothing to do but wait and gauge my own bodys recovery.And recover it did. Oh, I was a long way from being able to kvetch anyones ass, but my wits grew a little clearer. Standing and moving didnt hurt much either. Finally, I decided it was now or never. I had to take my gamble. Maybe it was well before the six hours, but I couldnt risk going over.It would have been easier with my wand, candles, and other accoutrements. What I had to do wasnt impossible, though. I turned off the lights, plunging me into darkness, and sat on the bed cross-legged.Volusian, I said softly. By the ties that bind, I summon you to come to me and chase my commands.Weak as I was, I felt my will go out, stretching beyond the worlds to my minion. At first, I thought it was useless-then, I felt it. The slightest twitching of our follow. I gritted my teeth, gulp all the strength I could. I summon you, I growled. Obey me and come.For a moment, I thought Id failed. Then, a coldness filled the room, and red eyes burned before me. Seeing them in the blackness was too scary, and I stumbled up to turn the lights back on.My mistress grants, he said. Or rather, I return to my mistress.I didnt need to see the slight curling of the spirits lips to know my hold on him was tenuous. It was like a fragile string of silk, ready to snap at any moment. Bringing him here, through those worlds, had sapped more of me than I thought imaginable. I still held him, but for the first time in the years Id enslaved him, the f ull actualization of just how powerful-and dangerous-he was hit me.I have tasks for you, I said sternly. I could show no weakness.He took a few steps toward me. My mistress is bold to say so. You can barely maintain the bond between us as it is.I can hold this bond until the end of time. Now, you will obey me.And almost before I saw what was happening, his clawed hands were around my neck-cold, cold. So cold that they burned.I have waited for this for so long, he hissed. So long for you to weaken so that I may eventually kill you and make you suffer the way you have tormented me these years, enslaving me and sending me to do your menial errands.I couldnt even manage a scream, not with the way his hands were cutting off my air. I could only manage something that was half-grunt and half-gasp. Desperately, desperately, I fought him mentally. I was one of the most powerful shamans in the world. I could control disobedient spirits. I could enslave them easily. Id once had a host of the m. I could fight this.You will feel pain like you have never dreamed possible, he continued. You will beg for death, beg for dismembermentfor even that would be easier than the agony I will inflict on you.Everyone had warned me so many times about keeping Volusian. What if your control slips? they had all asked. Dorian had even offered to help banish him to the Underworld for good. I had laughed the worries off. I was strong. Even after a battle like Id had with the fire demons, maintaining that link to Volusian was practically subconscious. But nownow, this was different.You are losing it-the bonds are nearly broken. In a few heartbeats, your control will be gone.No I couldnt speak a response, but the words in my mind burned. I would not lose this. I would not lose control of him. Wrenching up the last scraps of my strength was like ripping my own heart out. You will obey me Back offThe world started to glimmer as my air grew less and less, and then-he did back off.His eyes blazed with malice. Hed been so, so close, and we both knew it. My control now was still a tenuous thing, and I had to hope I would recover my strength soon and solidify my grasp.You will obey me, I said in a thin voice. You will not harm me.As my mistress commands. But I could tell from his voice that he didnt believe this would last, that he was biding his time.Meanwhile, I was rill out of time to decide what to do, not only because I didnt know if hed break free again but also because Abigail could be here at any moment. My initial instinct was to tell him to exclusively get me out of here. But if that command took the last of my strength, he could easily kill me once we were out. And even if I made it out, what about the girls? I couldnt rescue them on my own. How long until Markelle disappeared?No, I needed to kick Volusian out of the house. If I didnt summon him back, those wards would keep me safe. I needed to send him for help, and that choice had to be a wise one.Leave this hou se. Go to Dorian, I said. I drew upon that fleeting strength of mine to go for the order. I command you. Go to Dorian and tell him where Im at. Exactly where Im at.I could have sent him to Kiyo. Kiyo knew where this house was. But if the effort of these commands was enough to finally shatter my hold on Volusian, Dorian might be able to bind him back. It would be better than Volusian running loose. That, of course, depended on whether my order was strong enough to even get Volusian to Dorian to deliver the message. My first command had been to get Volusian out of the house and keep me cigarette the wards. If that was all I could manage, Volusian would no longer be bound to obey. He has to, I thought desperately. He has to get to Dorian.Go I ordered harshly.As you command.Volusian vanished, eyes narrowed, confident our bond was about to break. As soon as he was gone, I fell onto the bed, nearly ready to pass out. Would it work? Or had I just broken the last fragments of our bond? I was too afraid to reach out and test the link. I didnt have the strength.The door suddenly unlocked. Nightshade time. With a sickening thought, I cognise that if it was the original kind, I would almost certainly lose that control of Volusian. If it was Markelles decoy, I could hold onto my strength.Abigail entered, a cup in hand and Markelle in her wake. The gentry girls eyes were down, her whole posture meek. I bit my lip at their approach, waiting to see what my future held.